Musings of a Half-Brit

When I was in second grade, I spelled the word "grey" right on my spelling test, only to get it counted wrong. "Gray," wrote the teacher in red beside her cruel x. I was utterly perplexed when I showed my mom. I mean, it said "Earl Grey" on all our tea bags, so how could this be? "Whoops, honey. That's the British spelling. The American spelling uses an a. She really should have counted it right, though, since it's actually the proper spelling," she responded. Okay. I'm paraphrasing the last sentence. I doubt she went that far, but I do remember a note of disapproval in her voice. It is the same note she uses when she speaks of corn ("it's really meant for animals, you know") and peanut butter ("not too fond of it -- it just sticks to the roof of my mouth"). (If you didn't know, peanut butter is not too common in England, which is an utter travesty, I know.)

I traveled to England a few times before the age of 6 but recall very little of those earliest visits. However, I had quaint little bits of Britain infused into much of my childhood. I didn't realize there was anything all that special about these things, however, until I talked about them to some of friends, most of whom are from the South and to whom all tea is iced and all biscuits are buttermilk (not McVitie's).

In honor of my "mum" and Julie Andrews, I've decided to list "a few of my favorite things" about growing up half British.

1. Dippy Egg w/ soldiers (or soft boiled eggs with toast strips). If you've never had a soft boiled egg, I pity you. Yes, I know the runny yolk turns off many, but if you are at all open to the idea of eating a soft yolk, then this is the perfect and most adorable way. You must get the proper egg cup, place a pile of salt on its rim, lob off the top of the egg (stopping for a moment to eat the cooked white out of the shell), then dip the toast strips in the scrumptious, buttery yolk. Add salt from pile as needed. This is the ultimate comfort food and is, to me, preferable to any southern feast of biscuits, gravy, grits, and sausage. (An "egg in a basket" is my second-favorite runny egg dish. You can get this at your local Cracker Barrel. Delish!)

2. Cakes with fruit. Okay, I'm lumping 3 things together here since my family eats several varieties of fruited cakes/pies/puddings (no, not that kind of pudding) during the holidays. Those who have married into my family know these dessert items simply as "weird British food" and go straight to the pecan pie without giving them a second thought. The rest of us Magsigs, however, are known to eat many a mince pie (though those aren't my personal favorite), slice of fruitcake (oh yes), or, best of all, serving of Christmas pudding (to die for -- and, also, who doesn't love a flaming dessert?) during the holiday season. I should also add trifle in here, a cake/custard/booze/fruit concoction that we all love but is not found so often at your typical church potluck dessert table in the South.

3. Odd words. So far I've focused on food, but of course the quirky British expressions of my mother have made their way into my lexicon and occasionally raise eyebrows when uttered to my acquaintances. No, my mom does not walk around saying "Blimey" and "Bloomin'," but she does occasionally say funny things. I'm not going to vouch that all of these are actually British in origin; they're just things I have heard often:

"You're making me cross." Incidentally, my son has picked this word up from watching Thomas, not from Grannie, and it's quite cute when he uses it.

"Yum. Those are morish." (Meaning, you want more of them.)

"Everything's lying about higglety-pigglety" (Helter Skelter)

"He's just full of beans." I had no idea what my mom meant when she started saying this

about my oldest son a couple of years ago. I think it means something to the effect of "he's driving us all crazy." Ha Ha. Fits.

"I don't know if we're dressed to go to that restaurant. It's quite posh." This helped me a lot when the Spice girls became popular.

"Tidy up." This was what we were told to do to our rooms. I'm glad, because cleaning is a lot harder than tidying.

"I'm absolutely knackered." (Really tired)

The bathroom was quite often referred to as "the loo," and, of course, the word"lovely" was used quite often.

From visits with my Grannie, I also was exposed to "I need to spend a penny" (go pee) "Struth" ("God's truth"), and, of course, "Crikey." :)

4. Hot drinks are served hot. Cold drinks are served...cool. So, if you didn't know, the Brits are not known for their love of ice in drinks. I will not pretend to know the reason for this, but I'm guessing part of it has to do with the fact that it is rarely what most southern Americans would call "hot" in the UK. You would be extremely lucky to have an entire week that is over 80 degrees Fahrenheit in the summer. In fact, an average summer temp is about 60-65 degrees. Therefore, they don't have the need to consume ice-cold beverages constantly from June through September each year like we who are accustomed to 95 degree summer days do. Probably owing to my upbringing, I also am not a fan of ice if a drink is already cool/cold and like only very light ice if it's not. I distinctly remember my mom drinking lukewarm Pepsis on several occasions, so I come by this honestly. However, I know many southerners who are true connoisseurs of ice and can tell you the restaurants/gas stations that have the "good ice" that you can fill your cup to the brim with before filling it with your fountain diet coke. I hate drinking cokes this way since they get watered down so quickly. Similarly, I find iced tea far inferior to hot tea, any time of year.

5. Sweets! I had the most fantastic experience visiting England with my mother the summer between my freshman and sophomore years of college. It was the first time I'd visited any foreign country since childhood, and, as those experiences always do, the trip dazzled me. As a lifelong lover of sugar, one of the most delightful cross-cultural experiences I had was tasting all of the foreign candy bars. If you are a lover of candy, let me tell you -- England is the place to go. Since my mom always brought these treats home after her trips home, many were already familiar to me. A few of my faves are Bassett's licorice all sorts (yes, we all grew up eating and loving black licorice in my house), Cadbury's everything (they have way more varieties of Cadbury's chocolate there. Yum, Yum!), Maynard's wine gums, Smarties, Nestle Quality Street Candy and Aero Bars, and all varieties of English toffee (though Walkers may be the absolute best). One notable letdown: Frys Turkish Delight. Being an ardent Narnia fan, I was just dying to try Turkish delight when I saw it sold in markets in the UK. My mom kept telling me I'd be disappointed, and she turned out to be right. I really don't know what Edmund Pevensie was thinking getting all giddy over such a mediocre treat.

There are many other fun things about having a British "mum" (hot water bottles, hearing her sing "The White Cliffs of Dover," sneaking into my parents room to find them snickering over episodes of Benny Hill, etc.), but these are just a few of them. I must say, however, that they added a lot of colour to my childhood and made me glad to be only half a Yank.